On being a nonlinear thinker

Growing up, I wasn’t that concerned about planning. However, I saw the benefits of structure. I really admired people who were good at structure.

Due to several reasons, I eventually developed a shame of being an unstructured person.

From 2018 - 2022, I became really concerned about getting better at structure in my life. As a product designer, this was an area I knew that I wanted to improve on. I saw that structure helped me be effective. I thought it was necessary to be a good designer.

So I tried routines, planning. A lot of worked. But a lot of it didn’t stick.

Even worse, I remember specific moments when I try to implement structure in group environments. It fell flat on my face. Even though I so wholeheartedly believed in the benefits, the way I did it was out of a sense of shame, totally disowning who I actually was.

What was confusing for me was that it’s not that I can’t be organized. My brain is great at sorting and organizing when it wants to be. (Ask my gaming friends. I’m always the one who’s sorting shared inventory for better efficiency.). I just don’t stick to routines or long term plans and have a more flexible view on life.

How does this apply to being a designer?

I have a unique way of trying. I love doing things that aren’t in the plan.

This makes me good at investigating a wide range of inspiration, data, or references and then smashing it together to create something tangible.

Surprisingly, I’m actually good at Design System contribution and maintenance. Even though I suck at sticking to long term plans, I don’t like doing repeat work. So I enjoy creating components and making life easier for myself because I know how much more time I save. My philosophy when it comes to Design Systems is that the process should serve the people.

Self-acceptance is the key

I still admire people for having the traits I used to crave for myself, but I no longer beat myself up for not being that way.

Thanks to philosophies of non-resistance, I accepted I was born this way for a reason. Being unstructured is a gift that allows me to innovate, push the boundaries of what is normal, and to be flexible with what comes up.